If a friend comes to me and tells me about the things they aren’t doing or feel like they aren’t giving enough to their work or project, I remind them of all that they have achieved so far and that it’s ok to pause, re-energise yourself and take a break to just gather your thoughts.
When it comes to me, that’s another story. I have so many big dreams and want to live my life fully and intentionally and sometimes I can forget to breathe and just enjoy the moment I am in. I’ve started to write intentions for myself at the start of the month, not so much goals but more things that I want to work on, what I want to prioritise and how I want to do those things. I often find mid-month (or sometimes all month) I start to think that I’m not doing enough, that I am being lazy or wasting time and generally beating myself up about it. And when I finally stop and write down everything I’ve done I realise that I’ve done what I wanted to, and often more, and I just haven’t take the time to really appreciate it.
Take last month, I wanted to focus my time on exercising, working on my blog and coaching work and making some progress with my house DIY. By the middle of the month I felt like I wasn’t really doing any of those things but this is what I had done:
- Gone swimming, running and taken a yoga class
- Written a blog post and worked on my coaching assignment
- Had two big bits of work done on my house and got two more projects booked in
- Hosted an event with Chelsea Dinsmore from Live Your Legend (a review of the event to come)
- Visited the Diana exhibition at Kensington Palace and had a fabulous night out at the Chelsea Physic Garden summer party with my mum
- Had drinks with my old boss
- Had an outing to Whitstable with my best friend
- Attended two classical music concerts in London
- Attended a two day leadership course for work and went on a two day work trip to Leeds
This is on top of doing my normal 9-5 job in London, my regular choir rehearsals as well as spending time with my friends and family. When I write it down like this I can’t see how I could have done any more. And yet in the middle of doing all this I am constantly feeling like I need to be doing more. That what I am doing isn’t enough and I should be working even harder. But what I actually need to do is just stop.
I need to stop telling myself to work harder and do more. I need to stop and rest and take time to reflect on all the things I have done. I need to remember that I need to stop and make sure I make this something that is in my diary. JUST STOP
A few years ago I started to say no to thing that I didn’t want to do or didn’t bring me joy. Those things where you say yes to something because you feel that you should or you have to, but inside you are screaming no. It felt so good and now I only say yes to things that I really want to do. So, my full and busy life is full of things that I love, but I think I need to start saying no again. Or at least committing to more time to just be in the moment and reflect on all these things I am enjoying doing. I need to take time to reflect and enjoy the things I have done. To write blog posts about events I have hosted to remember what went well and why I am doing them in the first place. I need to give myself time to read and relax so that I’m not so tired or rushing at 100 miles an hour that I don’t enjoy the things I am doing.
I need to just be happy with what I am setting out to do and what I achieve and trust that I am working hard and dedicated to making my dreams a reality. I need to remember that taking time to pause and relax doesn’t make me lazy or a slacker, it just means that I need a break.
So, with that I’m off to look at my photos from what I got up to in June, enjoy this glorious weather we are having and breathe so that I can start next week fresh and ready to get stuck in.